The Girl in the Sea

Nathan Wild stepped off the train, his right-hand side weighted down by the holdall on his shoulder.  He cast his eyes over the platform and then craned his neck, looking between the shoulders of the small crowd for a face he recognised.  He saw her, squinting at all the doors along the length of the train, and waved.  She caught his eye, smiled, and waved back.

James had got off the train first, but now Nathan had lost him.  He looked vaguely around, and quickly spotted him, still talking to the pretty girl.  So this was her station too.  Nathan couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could well imagine it.  ‘You live round here?  What a coincidence!  You’ll have to show me around sometime.’  James was a corny guy, but he always seemed to be able to find girls who lapped it up like milk.  He left them to it, and walked towards Karen.

Because this wasn’t London, people moved aside for him, many of them with polite smiles.  Nathan smiled back, thinking that this might not be so bad after all.  Karen was still smiling at him, too.  She had Baxter with her.  Baxter was a huge, clumsy, excitable Great Dane who panted loudly and hotly and slobbered on the lap of everyone who happened to sit down in his presence.  Nathan thought he was wonderful, but he couldn’t help worrying about how he would get along with the baby.

‘Hello, boy!’  Only after he had said this did it occur to Nathan that perhaps he should have said hello to Karen first.  ‘How are you, then?’  He looked down, at the huge pink tongue snaking all over his hand, and then up at Karen.  ‘Hello, Karen.’

‘Hello, Nathan.’

She hugged him, somewhat awkwardly, as the bump was now big enough to get in the way.  Nathan knew no more about pregnancy than most thirteen-year-old boys, but he couldn’t help wondering if Karen had been pregnant for slightly longer than his father made out.

‘How was your journey?’

‘All right,’ said Nathan, quite truthfully.  The only problem with the journey was that he had had to spend most of it listening to James chatting up that girl.  It could have been a lot worse.  ‘How are you?’

‘I’m good, thanks.  You?’

Was this small talk going to last all week?  ‘I’m fine.’

‘And how’s your mum?’

Nathan blinked.  What a question.  ‘Fine,’ he said again.

‘Good.  Where’s James?’

‘Oh, he’s around here somewhere.’  Nathan used the excuse to turn round and switch off his forced smile.  ‘Ah, here he comes.’

‘Hi, Karen.’  James made a show of putting down his holdall and his guitar case, and stooping to kiss Karen on the cheek.  ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Fine,’ said Karen.  ‘Very well, thank you.’

She’s pregnant, not ill, thought Nathan, as James gathered up his luggage.

The house was a twenty-minute walk from the station, during which time Karen and James continued to make small talk.  Karen wanted to hear all about James’s GCSEs.  James told her that he knew he’d aced all of his music assessments, and he was confident about all of his other subjects.  Nathan listened with half an ear, feeling Baxter’s hot breath on his bare arm, but he was concentrating mainly on looking at the sea.  He was close enough to smell it, and to the feel the breeze combing through his hair.  It was a long time since he’d been so near the coast.  He’d been to beaches before, as a child, but there was no sea in London and somehow the family holidays had fizzled out over the last few years.

‘Here we are.’  Karen led them up the drive of a typical two-storey house in an equally typical residential cul-de-sac, and pulled a key out of her pocket.  ‘I’ll show you your room and you can dump your luggage.  Well.’  She looked at them.  ‘One of you can sleep in the baby’s room if you like, but it’s full of dustsheets and boxes and stuff.’

‘We’ll share,’ said James.  ‘That’s fine.’

Nathan wouldn’t have minded sleeping amongst dustsheets and boxes, but he didn’t say so.  There were worse things than sharing a bedroom with his brother, and besides, James might have a particular reason for wanting to do so.

The room was a good size, with a single divan in opposite corners and a large chest of drawers pressed against the wall under the window.  James dumped his holdall beside one of the beds, so Nathan went over to the other.  The window, open and letting in that salty smell, immediately caught his attention.  When he had put down his luggage Nathan walked over to it, and looked out.

‘Do you like it?’  Karen was suddenly behind him.

‘It’s beautiful.’

‘One of the reasons we chose it was for the view.’

There was nothing but flat, lifeless sea to the left and right, and to the horizon directly ahead of them.  In front of this, a sandy beach with only a few people sunbathing, walking their dogs and throwing balls around.

‘Fortunately we don’t seem to get a lot of tourists here,’ said Karen.  ‘We can go for a wander down later, if you’d like.  But first I expect you want something to eat.’

‘Yes please,’ said Nathan, turning his head to look at her.  He was very hungry, but too polite to say so.

‘When will Dad be home from work?’ asked James.

‘He usually gets back at about half-past five.’

‘Right.’  James, lying back on his chosen bed, glanced at his watch.  ‘Only about five hours to kill, then.’

‘I’ll make us some lunch,’ said Karen.  ‘Will sandwiches do you?’

‘Whatever,’ said James.

‘That sounds great,’ said Nathan.  ‘Karen…’

‘Yes?’

‘You do know I’m a vegetarian?’

Karen smiled.  ‘Of course I do.  Do you eat dairy?’

‘Yes.’

‘I’ll see what I can do.’

Karen left them alone in the room.  James stood up, stretched his arms and then went to join Nathan by the window.  He stared out at the view, not reacting to it at all.  Nathan looked up, watching his face, but James’s expression betrayed nothing.

‘Karen’s nice, really, isn’t she?’ said Nathan, after a minute or so of silence.

James didn’t look at him.  ‘Not bad for a home wrecker.’

‘It wasn’t all her fault.’

‘I know that.’

More silence.

‘I’m going downstairs,’ said Nathan.

He found Karen in the kitchen, spreading butter on slices of bread.  She looked up when she saw him, and smiled.  She looked rather lovely, he thought, smiling like that, with her hair falling out of its ponytail and the bump under her t-shirt.  Baxter was lying at her feet, ready to beg for scraps.  It looked like a perfect domestic scene.

‘Does James like corned beef?’ asked Karen.

‘I think so,’ said Nathan.  ‘He isn’t fussy.  He’s watching his figure, though,’ he couldn’t resist adding.

Karen laughed.  ‘Sounds about right.’  A pause, then, ‘I hope you’ll enjoy staying here.’

‘I’m sure we will.’

James came down for lunch and the three of them sat down to eat.  Karen took them to a large pine table that filled most of the conservatory, which gave a view onto the small back garden.  Baxter was allowed in, which Nathan knew would horrify his mother even if she didn’t deliberately look for reasons to disapprove of Karen, as though she needed any more.  Baxter didn’t stay too near Nathan when he realised that he wasn’t eating any meat, but he went straight to him after the meal was over.

‘We’ve got some biscuits if you’d like them,’ said Karen.

James flashed her a smile.  ‘Why not?’

Nathan cradled Baxter’s head in his lap, and gazed through the glass of the conservatory.  A few spots of rain had started to appear on the panes, and when Nathan looked up he had a direct view of the rapidly greying sky.

‘So much for going down to the beach,’ said James.

‘It’ll still be there,’ said Nathan.

‘Yes, but Karen won’t want to go out if it keeps raining, and frankly neither will I.  We’ll have just have to stick around here.’

Moments later Karen returned with the biscuits, and they ate them pretty much in silence.  Nathan couldn’t resist Baxter’s huge brown eyes, and threw down a few titbits for him.  Then, when he couldn’t take the silence any longer, he felt brave enough to ask Karen how her pregnancy was progressing.

‘Fine,’ she said.  ‘No problems at all.’

‘Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?’

‘The doctors know, but we want to keep it a surprise.  Well, I do.  Jimmy agreed.’

‘I expect he’d like a girl,’ said James.

‘Probably,’ said Karen, ‘but it’s healthy, and that’s the important thing.’

‘Have you got any scan pictures?’ asked Nathan.

‘Yes.’  She looked faintly surprised.  ‘Would you like to see them?’

Nathan said he would, and Karen went to fetch the pictures.  The rain was getting heavier, and any hope Nathan still had of visiting the beach was rapidly slipping away from him.

‘What did you do that for?’ asked James.

‘It’s something to do.’

‘We’ll see more than enough of the bloody baby when it’s out of her.’

‘None of this is the baby’s fault, James.  And it’s our half-brother or -sister.’

Karen had several ultrasound pictures from different stages of her pregnancy, and Nathan was fascinated to see how quickly the baby was growing.  James only asked to see the latest picture, so Karen obliged and gave it to him.

‘Is it a big baby, Karen?’ asked James, as he studied the photograph.

‘Fairly,’ said Karen.

‘Might it be born early, then?’

‘Well… no one’s told me it’s particularly likely to.’

‘Ah,’ said James, and handed the picture back with a sickly sweet smile.  ‘Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was born a little bit early.’

‘Well,’ said Karen.  There was a short pause while she tried to think of something to say.  ‘Would you boys like something to drink?’

James sent her out again, for cola this time, and apparently had nothing more to say to Nathan.  Nathan wanted to tell him not to antagonise Karen, but she was back before he could get the words out.  As she walked in Nathan allowed himself another look at the bump, and then he seemed to realise fully that the pink fuzzy thing in the pictures was actually a baby, and it was inside Karen.

‘Do you feel it moving inside you?’ he asked.  ‘If… if you don’t mind my asking.’

Karen, pouring them each a glass of cola, smiled at him.  ‘Of course I don’t mind.  And yes, I feel it all the time.  If you like I’ll tell you the next time it kicks and you can feel for yourself.’

Nathan beamed.  ‘Great.’

‘Well.’  Karen looked up at the rain-spattered the roof.  ‘We can’t go out in this.’

‘What about playing cards?’ said James.

‘Oh.’  Karen looked and sounded both surprised and delighted.  ‘If you like.  I’ll just go and find some.’

‘I’ve just thought,’ said Nathan, once she’d gone.  ‘Should a pregnant woman be running around after us like that?’

‘We’re guests in her house, aren’t we?’ said James.  ‘Besides, she owes us a few favours.  And I don’t know what you think you’re playing at, asking to feel the baby kick.  What would Mum say?’

‘Mum isn’t here.  I just think it’s amazing, that there’s a little person growing inside her.  Don’t you?’

‘It never should have happened.’

Nathan looked down at Baxter’s head, which was still in his lap, and said, ‘That isn’t what I asked.’

They managed to keep the card games going for well over an hour, and James won almost everything.  Nathan didn’t care whether he won or not, and so didn’t really bother trying.  He kept looking up at the ceiling, willing the rain to stop.  All he really wanted to do was get a closer look at the sea.  Eventually he excused himself and went up to the bedroom he and James would be sharing, where he could at least see the beach from the window.

As Nathan had expected, the sea was wilder now.  Whereas before it had been practically still, it was now attacking the sand with foamy waves like rapid gunfire.  No people remained on the beach.  Nathan thought they were all insane.  It was beautiful, and it must be some feeling to stand in that wind.

When Nathan went back downstairs, Karen was on the phone and James was lounging in an armchair, his legs swung over one side, strumming idly at his acoustic guitar.  When he saw Nathan come in he nodded towards Karen and said, ‘Dad.  He’s going to be late back from work, I bet you anything.’

‘But… but we’re here,’ said Nathan.

‘Do you really think we mean that much to him?’

Nathan was tempted to ask James why he had bothered going, but then Karen hung up and the courage suddenly eluded him.

‘I’m afraid Jimmy’s been held up at work,’ she said.  She looked like she was furious, but trying not to look furious.

James nodded.  ‘He does that a lot.’

It had never occurred to Nathan to ask anyone what it was his father actually did for a living.  He just had one of those office jobs that nobody really seemed interested in.  When Jimmy lived in London he’d had an office there, but his job took him all over the country, and one day it took him to Karen.  Now, apparently, he did a slightly different job in a much smaller office.

‘Well,’ said Karen.  ‘What would you like to do now?’

‘I think we can entertain ourselves for a while,’ said James, and returned his attention to his guitar.

‘Put your feet up, Karen,’ added Nathan.  ‘We’ll be fine.’

‘Right,’ said Karen.  ‘Okay.  If you’re sure you’ll be all right…’

‘I’ve brought a book,’ said Nathan, and went back upstairs, where he spent most of the next hour staring out of the window.  He was getting desperate to go and look at the sea, stand in it, feel the wind - but he knew Karen wouldn’t want him going alone, and he didn’t want to put her in the awkward position of either having to refuse his request or go with him.  So he just kept reminding himself that they were going to be there for a week.  They would probably spend lots of time at the beach.

At six thirty, Karen offered to walk to the fish and chip shop to fetch their supper.  James put down his music magazine long enough to give her a complicated order, and Nathan offered to go with her.

‘Typical English summer,’ said Karen, as they squinted through the rain and battled to walk against the wind.

The service was friendlier there than in London, and Nathan quickly discovered that the chips were too.  He didn’t eat fish, but James seemed to enjoy his battered cod in spite of his determination to hate everything about Worthing.

‘They’re straight out of the sea,’ said Nathan.  ‘Whereas London fish have been frozen for days and taken all over the country in vans.’

‘I know,’ said James.  ‘I bet these were expensive, though, weren’t they?’

Nathan shrugged.  ‘You get what you pay for.’

By this time Baxter was starting to get restless, and kept looking longingly at where his lead hung by the front door.  Nathan knew that as a big dog he must need a lot of exercise, and had probably missed out on at least one walk that day because of them.

‘It’s time Baxter had a walk, isn’t it?’ he said to Karen.  ‘Can I take him?’

‘Um.’  Karen looked very uncertain, but Nathan thought she also looked tired enough to say yes.  ‘Yes, if you like.’

James, most likely shocked into movement by the prospect of being left alone with Karen, leapt to his feet and said, ‘I’ll go too.  I could use the exercise.’

They walked in silence, Nathan holding the lead and allowing Baxter to lead the way.  Of the three of them, after all, he was the only one who knew the area.  The rain had died down a bit, but when they reached the beach the sea was still fairly rough.  It was well into the evening, and the sun was getting lower in the sky, but it was still perfectly light.

James always kept Nathan between himself and Baxter.  When Baxter decided to walk in the sea, Nathan gave James the lead while he pulled off his trainers and socks and rolled up his jeans.  He then took the lead back, and James looked relieved to get rid of it.

‘Why do you like her dog so much anyway?’ asked James.  These were the first words either of them had spoken since leaving the house.

‘James,’ said Nathan, following Baxter through the tiny waves.  ‘Hating the baby is one thing, but Baxter was in Karen’s life long before Dad was.’

‘I know that, but the point is it’s such a revolting animal.’

‘I think he’s great.’  A pause.  ‘Are dogs allowed off the lead here?’

James flinched.  ‘God, I hope not.’

‘Well,’ said Nathan, ‘I’ll keep it on this time just to be safe, and then I’ll ask Karen when we get back.’

The water had been quite cold at first, in spite of the July weather, and even then Nathan loved the feel of it throwing itself at his shins.  After a while the water seemed to warm up, and Nathan felt completely comfortable in it - almost at home.

‘Well well well, look who it isn’t,’ said James, brightening when he saw a young girl and her Labrador walking some distance down the beach.

Nathan squinted at them.  ‘Is that the girl from the train?’

‘It most certainly is, my friend.  Give me Baxter.’

‘What?’

‘Give me the lead,’ said James, and risked getting his jeans wet to snatch the lead from Nathan.  ‘Don’t tag along, okay?’ and he jogged off down the beach with Baxter.

Nathan was momentarily shocked, and looked down at his suddenly empty hand.  When he looked up again, James and Baxter had shrunk considerably.  James’s arm was in the air, hailing the girl from the train.  Nathan knew that the girl had given them her name, and he tried to remember it.  Shirley?  Sharon?  Shelley?

Having no desire to tag along anyway, Nathan turned and started to retrace his steps, still holding both of his trainers in one hand, his socks stuffed into his pocket.  The sea was rising gradually higher, towards the rolled-up cuffs of his jeans.  If the baby inside Karen was fascinating, to Nathan, the tide was even more so.  It was the moon creating all that movement.  No, actually, half of it.  The other half, gravity.  The moon pulling one way, the earth the other.  It was amazing.  Nathan stopped just to watch it for a few minutes, and then moved on.

He realised he must have walked too far back the other way when he came across a crumbling wall of rocks he hadn’t seen before.  It was taller than he was, made up of heavy grey boulders piled precariously on top of each other, of course glistening with salty water.  It looked extraordinarily unsafe, but Nathan couldn’t resist the urge to try and climb it.  What would happen, he wondered, if he slipped and fell?  He could be knocked unconscious, and carried away by the tide.  James would be blamed by their father, and even their mother.  Even she couldn’t hold Karen responsible if James was supposed to be with him.  Karen would be mortified.  She would blame herself.

It was a terrifying thought, and the danger was exhilarating.  Nathan climbed to the top of the wall, his trainers tied together by the laces and slung around his neck, the rocks slimy and slippery under his hands.  The wind rushed through his hair, over his skin, and stung his eyes.  He had never felt so alive.  By the time he reached the top, he had almost forgotten Karen and James and Jimmy, and even Baxter - the one he had really gone there to see.  Now, he felt like the only person in the world.

Nathan thought about standing, but he wasn’t brave enough.  He looked down, and saw the water lapping at the rocks at the bottom of the pile.  What were the chances that this would be the day the rocks finally wore down, and tumbled into the sea?  Unlikely, Nathan thought, but he realised that if he stayed up there too long it was very  likely he would be caught by the tide.

He looked to his left, and saw that the wall stretched for quite some way, and rounded a bend into some deeper and wilder water.  He crawled along the rocks, the water soaking though to his knees, and continued looking out to sea.  There was a smaller rock formation several feet in front of him, with the tide already crashing over it.  And then he saw her.  A girl, no older than he was, sitting on the rocks, looking back towards land.  A mass of long, sopping wet blond hair covered most of her face.  A wave crashed against her back, plastering more hair to her face, neck and shoulders.  She raised a hand to push it back, and then Nathan caught her eye.  He waved.  She seemed to hesitate, then smiled and waved back.

Then suddenly another wave hit her, he saw a flash of blond hair and something pink… and she was gone.

Nathan leapt to his feet, somehow not slipping on the rocks, his eyes darting wildly around.  Panic coursed through him.  Then, with a horrible jolt of nausea, he realised he was going to have to go in and rescue her.  He bent his knees and flattened a palm against the rock, ready to climb down, or at least to attempt it.  Only now did he realise that he hadn’t given any thought at all to getting down.

‘Oh, don’t jump, I’m not dead!’

Nathan whipped round, almost fell, but managed to regain his balance.  There in the water below him, mostly covered either by sea or long blond hair, was the girl.  She pushed back her hair again, and showed Nathan a cheeky grin and severe acne on areas of her chin and forehead.

‘Blimey!’ she shouted up to him.  ‘I thought I was going to have to rescue you for a moment there!’

‘Are you all right?’ asked Nathan.

‘Fine!  Come down here where I can talk to you!’

‘Wouldn’t you rather come up here?’

She shook her head.  ‘Here’s better!’

Nathan accepted this, and began to climb down.  The tide was still rising, and hid most of the girl’s body.  She was leaning forward on the rocks, her chin on her arms, bare shoulders showing through the wet strands of hair.

‘What are you doing up there?’ she asked, in an accent that reminded Nathan of some areas of London his father used to avoid.  ‘It don’t look safe to me.’

‘It probably isn’t,’ said Nathan.  ‘Maybe I should be getting back.’

‘Nah, don’t worry, I’ll look after you.’  Something in her voice told him that she meant it absolutely.  ‘I’m Crystal.’

‘Nathan.’

‘On holiday, are you?’

‘Sort of.’

‘Most people round here are on holiday, from what I hear.’

‘I’m visiting my dad.  He just moved here with his girlfriend.’

‘That’ll be nice,’ said Crystal.  Nathan had never known anyone in London to be that friendly, and that included people he knew.

‘Maybe.’

‘Like that, is it?  Well, we all have family problems, innit.’

‘Your family might be a bit, sort of… appalled,’ said Nathan, ‘if they knew you were swimming round these parts at this time of the evening.’

Crystal laughed.  ‘They probably would too.  So, how do you like the English Channel?’

Nathan smiled.  ‘It’s beautiful.’

‘There’s nicer seas.  And even nicer oceans.’

‘I’ve never been to any.’

‘No.’  She looked over her shoulder, at the horizon.  ‘Me neither.’

‘But I will one day,’ said Nathan.  ‘One day, I’m going to go everywhere.’

‘Everywhere?’

‘Yep.  I’ll start with Australia, I think.  There are some wonderful animals in Australia.’

Crystal raised her eyebrows.  ‘You like animals?’

‘I love animals.’

‘What kinds of animals?’

‘All animals.’

‘Fish?’

‘Absolutely.’  He kept his eyes on her, amazed by the way she was just lying in the sea like that.  ‘And are you fond of fish too?’

She laughed again.  ‘Oh, very.  You might even say there’s a little bit of fish in me.’

Nathan couldn’t help smiling.  ‘You’re mad.’

‘Not so much.’  She paused, and looked at him appraisingly.  After a short time she said, ‘You’re not like other humans, are you?’

‘Neither are you.’

‘I’m not much like humans at all, really.  I can sing like them.  That’s about it.’

Nathan raised his eyebrows.  ‘Sing like them?’

‘I’ve heard your lot, when they think they’re alone on the beach.  They sound awful, all of them.  Or maybe it’s what the air does to their voices.  Things sound different out of the water, don’t they?’

Nathan nodded.  ‘They do.  You should hear my brother James.  He can sing.’

Crystal looked interested.  ‘Can he that?’

‘And he plays the guitar.’

‘And can you sing?’

‘God no.  I can’t do anything half as well as he can.’

‘Oh no?’

‘No.’

‘Handsome too, is he?’

‘Must be.  He’s got a girlfriend back home in London, and he’s probably got another one here by now.  Takes after his dad,’ Nathan added, as the thought occurred to him for the first time.

‘I’ll bet he don’t appreciate a beautiful view when he sees one though, does he?’ said Crystal.

‘No,’ said Nathan.  ‘Actually, he doesn’t.’

‘Well,’ said Crystal, ‘there must be something more than having a beautiful face and a beautiful voice.  If only I knew what that was.’

‘There’s being a good person,’ said Nathan.

Crystal grinned.  ‘That’s corny.’

‘But isn’t it true?’

‘Yeah, I suppose it is.’

She shook back her hair, and Nathan saw that the acne spread almost to her ear.  He then noticed a sizeable flap of skin directly underneath it, and tried not to stare at it.

‘It’s been nice talking to you, Nathan,’ said Crystal, ‘but I think you’d better be getting back before you get yourself stranded here.’

‘Yes,’ said Nathan, seeing that the rocks, and Crystal, were now well over a foot in the water.  ‘Will you be all right?’

‘Me?’  Crystal turned her head, and pointed to an identical flap of skin on the other side of her neck.  ‘I’ll be fine.  See you around, maybe.’

Then she dropped into the water, and moments later Nathan saw her head resurface some thirty or forty yards away.  She rolled over onto her back, laughed, turned again and then launched herself out of the water.  Nathan watched, open-mouthed, as she did and impressive back flip in the air before disappearing with a resounding splash.  The last he saw of her was a salmon pink tail.

However much he wanted to, Nathan couldn’t stare after her for long.  He lowered himself into the water, waded quickly to the end of the wall of rocks and then headed back up the beach.  By walking in a straight line along the coast he was able to find his way back to familiar territory, and eventually to Karen’s house.  He was about to go inside, but then saw that James was lurking with Baxter at the end of the road.

‘Where have you been?’ said James, when Nathan approached.  ‘I’ve been worried sick!  I thought you must have drowned!’

‘I just went for a walk,’ said Nathan.  ‘I’m fine.  Did you get that girl’s number?’

‘Of course I did,’ said James.  He then handed Baxter’s lead to Nathan, and started making his way up the road.

Nathan, in the thirty-odd seconds that it took to walk back to the house, went over what had just happened to him.  He thought he probably ought to doubt it, and even concocted an explanation whereby he had slipped and hit his head on a rock, and hallucinated the entire conversation with Crystal.

But that, he knew, wasn’t true.  The truth was that he had met a mermaid.  He was certain of it.  He didn’t like to hope that he would see her again, because any such hope might be cruelly dashed.  But there are some things one just cannot help wanting, and at that moment what Nathan wanted more than anything else was another chance to talk to Crystal.