These are the rules:
No killing, maiming, raping,
racism, sexism, ageism etc.
slapping or hair pulling
(a little tripping and backstabbing is okay,
if you really have to).
Keep your eye on the goalposts and
whatever the hell else you do,

Do
Not
Let
Go
Of
The
Ball
This is NOT a team game
Never
Pass
The
Ball

Nobody will pass the ball back to you.
Some people will appear to wear your colours, but
don’t be fooled.
If you lose the ball,
get the hell after it,
get it back and for heaven’s sake
get a firmer grip this time.

Just remember this:
you’re better than all of them,
and if they reach the goal
they’re only getting in your way.

Okay?
Okay!

Now get out there.
Keep your eyes on the prize.
And kick
Some
Arse!